Drab As A Fool, Aloof As A Bard

by Certain Trips

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1.
parted ways heat lightning in the sky hum is blaring on my midnight drive and you've made quite the impression on me cause being with has got me grinding at my teeth i've been close to death so many times but nothing shakes me more than when you look in my eyes cause loving you is playing frogger in the street it's gonna kill me but the thrill is so enticing my cards are dealt i know what i'm in for you turn away i end up craving more and fool me twice and its a shame on me but when you're shameless its another repeat i've been close to death so many times and if i stay with you i'm gonna lose my mind cause loving you is stealing honey from a bee it might be sweet but the risk is not worth it for me loving you is playing frogger in the street i should know better that you're not that worth it for me
2.
fireworks damaging the clouds as thousands of people scream "this year is going to my year" and a rough autumn got me into that trap so i went to a new year's eve bash at a place that held small parties i had been to on and off but as soon as the countdown ended out of nowhere it all went wrong the whole ground started to shake everyone went pale and a brawl broke out in the garage as the walls crumbled to the ground so the owner of the house fled the scene when he took a walk outside and i decided to tag along eighteen below freezing at 4 am drunk as hell avoiding all of the road blocks ended up walking eight miles to a waffle house squashed some beef along the way and felt a new bond as we ate our food and as i stared at my plate of hoppin' john i couldn't help but notice that all these new year's celebrations seem off i can make all the resolutions I want but every single year is still a curveball and all these new year's superstitions won't work i can eat all the good luck food i want but even the first minute seems off yeah it seems off
3.
phasing 02:38
end of shift midnight get me out of these fluorescent lights and into the cold ice pellets fall from the ashtray sky on these dim lit backroads sneak you out to the abandoned house black smoke billows from the garbage fire harebrained schemes fog it all for a gathering intoxication as a farewell cause we've been flipped around phasing in and out of the whiplash i freeze up staring is it you or me or both of us that's gone? the wreck just never stopped your problem is you just don't care my problem is i care too much and there's a role reversal somewhere someday i'm just sick of being shaken up
4.
free venison 03:37
trailing off embers on the woods locusts on the porch salinity and thirst sharks moving around the pool beat pulsing through ribcages sucker punched stripped down to nothing spewing on the doorstep box of signs left to rust oversaturation of lust blurry sight testing trust inhibition turns to dust stay aware dont let your guard down dont let intuition escape you for the future strive to look back on this night with nostalgia and not more trauma wide awake til you're blinded by the headlights and you're free venison think youre straight til you find your pack is not your own then you're free venison
5.
aimless walks excessive melts reflected in drops horizon stare floorboard sift at the edge of the parking lot waistline deep the world is zooming but here we are stuck in park but maybe the experience will leave us better off it's a quarter life crisis try to figure it out you're among a bunch a people who are just as overwhelmed they will say to just to wing it but it doesn't always work cause the lack of all control is gonna make you go berserk work all night, school all day study all night, sleep all day drink all night and smoke all day starve for hours then stuff your face pill to wake and pill to sleep fuck someone new every week try new drugs to not feel bleak repeat repeat repeat repeat smoke all night, smoke all day worry all night, sleep all day new love interest dissipates feeling lonely masturbate pill to study pill to eat forget the day of the week try new drugs to not feel bleak repeat repeat repeat repeat it's a quarter life crisis try to figure it out you're among a bunch a people who are just as overwhelmed they will say to just to wing it but it doesn't always work cause the lack of all control is gonna make you go berserk
6.
decrepit halls on half baked mornings i'm sick of all the droning lectures i hope that this is a good investment second year i second guess a beautiful day, the world is my oyster i'm trying to get my vitamin d up by basking in the sunlight taking a stroll around the campus feeling pretty sinister as i listen to belle and sebastian on my headphones grinning daydreaming about insurance fraud getting hit by the school food truck suffer only minor injuries then i can get my royalties then maybe i can pay off all this debt im gathering at XSU Excess University so after months of classroom struggles i'm sitting in the dining hall staring at the read receipts from every potential date i met when a glowing man approaches me hits me up with small talk my first thought is what's the catch i hope that he's hitting on me but then his true intentions show when he brings up the man he loves he says i should know him too his name is jesus it's always jesus and he notices my damages says im broken and prays for my wounds i guess i should expect this instead of dates when i'm a desperate dejected mess every second chance I get is a shameful follow-up sophomore slump
7.
it feels like every step forward is just another step back looks the same in either direction its progress as a palindrome lets hope that this all is acknowledged don't wanna end up on a loop its passing off as entertainment its progress as a palindrome

about

excessive songs for an excessive era
feed and regurgitate your ill advised desires
in perpetual motion
patience, patient, patience

credits

released April 16, 2021

written, performed, and produced by Jake Laster

album art by Maxime Simonet (twitter.com/MorningJazz69)
additional editing by Jake Laster

recorded August-November 2020 in Auburn, AL

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Certain Trips Atlanta, Georgia

Specific journeys and particular travels from a shoegaze, noise pop, dream punk and psychfolk influenced mind

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